September 3, 2004

// November 16th, 2010 // From the forthcoming book "Losing Steve: One Mother's Journey Through Grief"

As I meditated today I did what I thought was impossible. I came to the glass wall that blocks my path and stood there a moment peering into its seeming endless depth. I drew a deep breath, and in a leap of faith imagined stretching my right leg forward. Forward not into a glass wall but into water. Falling water. Cleansing, purifying, healing water, cascading over my body, taking my breath away in wonder as it washed me clean ~ heart and mind. I felt myself pass all the way through and, in my mind, opened my eyes to see more sheets of falling water spaced farther and farther apart, each becoming less thick and until finally I can see a mist that stretches out as far as a lifetime.
But it isn’t intimidating any more. I know that the water is here to aid in my healing. I feel light, like I have finally offered my pain to God, and He will not be weighed down by it. He is up to the task (His promise) to turn my sorrow into joy in His own perfect time.

With confidence ~ assuredness

and grace ~ a free gift from God, an ease of movement

I step boldly into ~ enter without fear

my ~ I am unique, my being and my life are uniquely mine

future ~ every moment from now on

for I am ~ God has made me what I am and I am to do my best with what I am given

a woman of ~ created for a purpose

strength. ~ to deny this strength is to deny the strength of Christ in me

I release ~ I can actively let go of pain,

the need to hold on to ~ it isn’t mine anymore

pain and grief ~ the worst we can imagine will be washed away

for I trust God’s ~ and no other, God is in all

universal ~ from the tiniest particles of matter to the vastness of all creation, God is in all, and all is…

perfection.

All is well in my world.

Leave a Reply