March 21, 2004

// June 19th, 2010 // From the forthcoming book "Losing Steve: One Mother's Journey Through Grief"

I know now why some people get involved in “causes” after losing someone they love.
When I’m still my grief seems to envelop me. Wrapping me tighter and tighter, like a spider spinning its web around me, it sucks the life out of me at its leisure.
When I’m up and busy or with people I’m more or less OK. I can plan for the future. I can even get excited about life and living. Then moments after I sit down tears sting my eyes and I have to fight off the advancing darkness as it tries to swallow me.

I have decided to keep as busy as possible, beginning with the mundane ~ cleaning house ~ and the not so mundane ~ caring for my family.
Maybe at some point I can move on to a “cause” …maybe.
Jane and I have talked about doing a Walk for Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation if they have one in our area. I’ll have check their web site, but for some reason I keep putting it off.

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