August 5 2004

// September 21st, 2010 // From the forthcoming book "Losing Steve: One Mother's Journey Through Grief"

The house is so quiet tonight. Usually Jae and Rob come and go during the evening as I sit and read before I go to bed each night. Tonight they are at a Padres game with Amy and some friends. I cherish my quiet evenings!

This week the weather has been teasing us with autumn in the evenings. Just that faint hint of cooler days to come. I know it won’t last and that we will soon be wishing we had a/c in the house . But for now I enjoy a sense of calm while I watch my kitchen curtain breathe in and out as the day ebbs away. I love to stand at my sink and feel the breeze slowly pulsing through the open window, shushing the cares of the day.

I took Dave’s Aunt AdaD to the plastic surgeon today. There is a large bump on her left hand that she just wants gone! Today was a consultation in Point Loma so we left early this morning and spent an hour on the freeway. She so loves to get out that even sitting in traffic is a treat for her. Her smile never faded as we inched our way to her appointment. I keep saying this but, I know I need to get her out more, even if it’s just for a trip through the drive-up window at In & Out. Sometimes it seems like just another thing I have to do that can be put off. Then when I DO come for a visit (at least twice a week) she gets cranky with me that I don’t come over more often! I can’t win….

Janene and Summer came for a visit today. We set Kirstie, Kyle, and Summer at the picnic table under the climbing tree and gave them paint and paper to occupy themselves while we sat in the living room to talk. Soon their laughter drew us outside where we found the girls covered in paint, paint splattered on the windows, table, tree, in their hair….. It may take days and several baths to remove the evidence of the fun they had!
It was so good to see my dear friend! It felt like old times when she would just head down the street back to her home after a visit. I have so missed my friends that moved away last year. Janene, Peggy, Charles and Morgan, and Keri. My social life is riddled with holes where some of my closest friends used to be. Sure we have telephone calls but frankly most of us are too busy to sit for an hour to catch up.

Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that it’s time for us to move on. San Marcos is getting so crowded and the Palomar Airport traffic has gotten much worse with more and larger aircraft flying almost directly over our house….and the low flying helicopters! Some days it seems so noisy all day long.

But where would we go? This has been our home for a quarter of a century. The only home our living children can remember. Two of our daughters were born in this house. One daughter held her wedding in the yard. These doors have welcomed hundreds of people to parties, laughter resounding throughout the rooms.The tree in the backyard has been climbed by every one of our children, our grandchildren and scores of visiting kids. We couldn’t take that with us. It would be like leaving a member of the family behinmd.

And one son died here, his memorial taken place in the same air that has held so much joy. How could we leave this house that has become a part of our family, our history….our home? So we will stay…as the city continues to grow up around us covering us with its sounds and lights.

2 Responses to “August 5 2004”

  1. Gaylord says:

    So beautiful a sentiment and oh so true. Life is like that at times. We must stay the course or become lost in the shuffle. And while the comforts of “Home” are wonderful, they can be rebuilt if it becomes necessary. But no one Likes to move regardless!!!
    Thanks again for the beautiful words, Deb. Truly crafted.

  2. Nett says:

    It was also Chris’ 5th bday 🙂

Leave a Reply